Notes from the past

While I am waiting for Berk to put the finishing touches on his completed story of the accident, I have decided to fill the recent void in activity with excerpts from the journals my friends and family wrote.

My mom (Tracy) after her and my dad arrived at the hospital -

Sunday June 4th,
9:30 am - "We arrived at Spectrum (the hospital), first time we saw Matt.  His left eye was purple and swollen shut.  Tubes are connected to everything...Matt was unconscious.  His left arm was tied down.  His right arm doesn't move.  He kicks when nurses or doctors try to do something.  Mark (Dad) squeezed his hand, Matt squeezed back.  We are not sure if it was purposeful, but it happened three times.  He also looked as if he tried to open his right eye a tiny, wee bit.  I would say, "I can see you trying to open your eye," and he would do it again.  We feel strongly he knew we were with him."

I have no recollection of the above events, but I believe that I could hear and feel them.

Monday June 5th,
1:55 am - "Nurse called while at the hospitality house.  They needed permission to put in a heart catheter to monitor heart, swelling and pressure were rising (intracranial)."
4:40 am - "Received a phone call wanting us to come Matt right away.  They were taking him for a CAT scan before putting him in a drug-induced coma."
7:00 am - "About when EEG was hooked up.  Pentabarbital and coma began.  Matt's head is very swollen, especially on the right now. PRAY PRAY PRAY."

I feel that it would be wrong of me to divulge the emotional and physical details of my ordeal without first tell you where I am now in my life, ten years later.  This way, you can see how bad it was for me and my family and  how far one can go from there.
_______________________________________________________________________

Present day:

I am 27 years old and live in North Carolina.  When I was 23, I graduated from college with a bachelors degree in Marketing with an emphasis in Sales.  A few months after graduation, I got my first job as a Pharmaceutical Sales Representative and am still in that position.  I have been married for two and a half years to the most wonderful woman (More on that in later posts).  Five months ago we had our first child, Noah Matthew, who has given me a renewed passion for life. 

I want those who visits with blog to know about the present, because you need to know that no matter how bad it gets, miracles do happen.

Please feel free to comment with any questions you have for me, my friends, or my family.

Below is a recent picture of my son.

God Bless!

"

New Beginnings

I have decided to take a week or so to gather some details from my family and friends.  Over the last few weeks I have heard things that I had no idea occurred.  Most importantly, after speaking with Berk this evening, my view of the accident has been slightly changed in the details.  He was able to describe to me the sights, sounds, and the smells of the car accident.  He said it all went in slow motion and his description of the light pole slamming on the car was remarkable.  Once I gather these details I will change subtle things in past entries and potentially move to WordPress - If I do, I will place a link to the new blog page on here.

Thank you very much for reading!  It's so nice to see that my story is able to be read by so many people and I hope it helps those who need to hear the message!

God Bless!

The News HIts

Until now, I've never really discussed details of that fateful day and the ensuing weeks with friends and family.  In order to give the most detailed encounter of my story, I have begun asking close friends and family about how they found out I was in an accident with my friends, when they found out, etc.

As I indicated in one of my previous posts, my parents and siblings were in Knoxville, TN for the Odyssey of the Mind world competition...

My brother's team had received the silver medal in their event so you can only imagine the excitement that my family was feeling!  They celebrated the amazing victory but would soon get news of the car accident.  Last night, I talked with my mom about that night.  She said that my dad got a call from my grandparents informing them that I had been in an accident.  I've discussed the accident hundreds of times with my parents since that day but what my mom described to me last night will forever be etched in my mind.

She said that she was walking through the parking garage and when she was told about her eldest son, she fell to her knees and sobbed.  The feeling she had in her chest was what she could best describe as a broken heart.  From what she and my dad have told me in the past, they quickly gathered their things in Knoxville and drove up to Grand Rapids, MI.

Also attending the OM games with my parents were two individuals who I have always thought of as being like parents - The Keanes.  Mr. Keane and my dad jumped in one car and Mrs. Keane and my mom took the other car.  My brother and sister would be taken back to Grand Rapids with another family in the morning. 

My mom said that what should have been a 12 hour drive took a mere 9 hours.  She said they had no idea if I would live, so they wanted to be there with me if God called me home.

When they arrived at the hospital, they were met by Mr. Clarin (he and Mrs. Clarin have also been like parents to me).  He took them into the hospital and up to see me.  Before the doctors would allow my parents to see me, they had to brief them on my condition and prepare them for what they would see: Their son unconscious, badly bruised, cut,  hooked up to machines with tubes going every which way...

Later on, before finally getting some sleep after being up for two days straight, my parents were called back to see me.  The doctors were considering putting me in a drug-induced coma, because my brain pressure remained elevated.  In order to prep me for the possible induction, a heart catheter was needed so my parents were there in the event I passed away from the procedure.  Once the catheter was in place, they went to the guest house to sleep.

At 4:00am, my parents were called.  I would be put in a coma...

- A message to those who are currently seeing a loved one in a coma or after a closed head injury - No matter what happens, talk to your loved one.  Hearing some of the things that I have heard from my friends and family are incredible.  If you have never said "I love you" to your loved one, I recommend doing so.  My family has always been close but the experience we've shared has brought us even closer.  In addition, tell your loved one how you felt and what you felt.  That alone tells that person that you love them.  Believe me, I've heard some amazing things I never knew.  Love will help you and your loved one through their ordeal.

Updates

Please go back and read from the beginning of this story.  If you already have, I strongly urge you to do so again.  I have added many updates because many aspects of my story have come back to mind while putting my many thoughts into words.  When I update past entries, I will be sure to let you, the reader, know.  I will also be uploading pictures from my ordeal, once I obtain them from the appropriate sources.

Thanks for reading.  I hope you learn and are inspired.

Matt

My Life Changes

Fortunately, S was able to avoid the oncoming car. However, our car spun out and headed toward a galvanized steel pole near the driveway of a yard. The car hit the pole which fell on the roof of the car, where I was seated in the front seat. The sudden collapse of the roof connected with my skull. Helpless, my friends watched in horror as the car continued on toward the house. Three boulders had been placed in front of the house, probably because there had been accidents there in the past. When the car hit the boulders, it ramped up them and flipped over. Saved only by our seat belts, we all hung from them upside down.

S and B were able to unbuckle and climb out of the car. Simultaneously, they both shouted for help and frantically dialed 9-1-1 on their cell phones. As my lifeless body hung from the safety belt an engine fire had begun. At some point in time, the ambulance arrived but the paramedics would not rescue me. Since their was a fire closing in on me, they had to wait for the fire department to arrive in order to put out the fire.

Thankfully, some neighbors out at a bonfire overheard the accident and sirens. Two brothers came to my rescue, while one man's girlfriend ran to the house to dial 9-1-1 herself and get a fire extinguisher. When the men arrived, they could see that the paramedics were not able to rescue me because the scene was not safe. One of the men crawled into the car through the shattered back window, unbuckled my seat belt and pulled me out of the flaming car. We were rushed to the hospital as our families were contacted...

Just a Couple of Invincible Kids

After the fateful last word, “Shotgun,” everything is blank. The account of life until the 2nd week of July is merely an interpretation of what friends and family have described to me.

Happy to have “won” the front passenger seat in S's car, I smiled at B who chided “damn-it Matt!” We exited the parking garage into the blackness of the night. Car lights flooded the city and horns honked as festival-goers were anxious to sleep in their own beds. When we finally made it to the expressway, we were greeted by a never-ending line of automobiles.

Just then B’s cellular phone rang. "L," a friend of ours, wanted to meet us for a nighttime coffee at a local hangout. L and I were becoming good friends, and I was excited to see her! I was becoming more and more attracted to her. She seemed to have something that Stephanie didn’t, and I liked that. S took an exit that would serve as a faster way to get to the coffeehouse.

As we flew down the winding back-road we picked up speed. From what I’ve been told, the last speed that was noted by my fellow passengers was 85 mph (in a 45 zone). As we came around a bend in the road, and drifted into the oncoming traffic lane, S saw a pair of headlights straight ahead of us. He tried to correct the car and lost control of the vehicle...

...And the story starts like this...

In the Spring of 2000, I was a 16 year-old sophomore in High School.  I had a great life.  I was in a band, had a promising future in competitive swimming, a girlfriend, and many friends!   Stephanie, the girl I was dating was the first girl I truly loved and I was her "first kiss."  But life seen through my teenage eyes was depicted differently.

I am a life-long Catholic and at that stage in my life I was beginning to see both people and God in a different light.  For a reason I have yet to understand, I believed that although God created as he did in the Book of Genesis, he left his creations on their own and is therefore not a part of the present world.  I also took original sin one step further; believing that people were inherently evil and in-compassionate.  It was up to the parents of children to instill in them a sense of goodness.  In addition, I started drinking and although I didn't drink much, it was just another bad decision in a series of choices. 

God would soon tell me how wrong I had become.  

At the end of May, My family left for the Odyssey of the Mind World Competition in Knoxville, Tennessee, and my Grandparents were staying at our house to watch me.  On June 2nd I broke up with Stephanie so that I could pursue L.  Looking back, I'm deeply ashamed of my past behavior, but have learned from my mistakes and plan to teach my 3-month-old son that his father has faced death because of his poor decisions.

My good friend "S" recently got his drivers license and had asked me if I wanted to go to the festival that was downtown.  Since final exams were the following week, my grandparents told me to make sure that attending the festivities would be ok with my parents (since I needed to be studying.)  I called my dad's cell phone and he said that I could go downtown as long as I studied the following day.  Naturally, I said that I would study.  Little did I know was that my mom was in the background shaking her head.

S picked me and "B" up that evening.  We ventured downtown for a fun evening!  After a night of eating elephant ears and seeing local bands perform, we found our way back to the parking garage.  As we approached S's 92' Ford Taurus, I ran up ahead and called "Shotgun!"  That single word sealed my fate as my life would ultimately change within the following hour.